Ever feel like you're living in the Twilight Zone? Well, that's exactly how I've felt for the past four months. Back in December, my wife of 20 years, Nancy Herman-Davis was diagnosed with severe liver disease, pneumonia, congestive heart failure and Adema. She developed a condition known as encephalopathy, swelling on the brain due to excess ammonia in the system, which caused her to have hallucinations and dementia.
Faced with the decision to care for her myself or put her in a facility, I decided to do the latter, which hurt me immensely. She was impossible to care for at home, on 16 medications and uncontrollable and sometimes had violent or inappropriate behavior. I visited her every day, anywhere from three to six hours, saw to it she was eating, getting bathed, and cared for as such.
They tried to help her with medication, but it was ineffective in the end, and she slowly refused to eat or drink anything, and a transplant was years away. That last week was tough, as I watched her slowly slip away from me. I was heart-broken to see her go, but I knew at least now she now longer suffered. She died on March 11th, 2023 in her sleep, and my life has been a twilight zone since.
So why am I telling you some of my most personal feelings in my blog? I am a writer, and as a writer this is my therapy. Which brings me back to my twilight zone comment-the last month has been very tough for me to get a focus on my writing. It's not that I don't know what I am writing, after fiver books in the series and 2/3 of the next one done, I ought to. It's because I can't bring myself to write. Perhaps it's because of my sadness and sorrow I feel this way. Perhaps it's because I have spent much of my time the last month taking care of her affairs. Whatever the reason, I have to find my groove and get back in it.
Nancy was more than just a wife to me; she was my travel companion, my comic con assistant, my singing and musical partner, my proofreader, and my Harley Quinn to my Joker, and Stepmother to my daughter. She was my whole life and inspired me to be a better person than I was before I met her. Perhaps with this blog I can find some closure in all this, but I know that is asking a lot. I will never forget her and will always wear my teddy bear with her ashes necklace to remind me of her.
Hopefully, this blog will help me cure this writer's block and continue on with my life as she would have wanted me too. The greatest love of all is the love we carry in our hearts for those we have lost, just to know they are not gone, just waiting for us to join them wherever they may be.